by Carrie Warner
Our adoption journey is not your typical story. My husband, Joel, and I got married in 2002 right before our senior year of college. We didn’t think about having kids, but we didn’t really think about not having them either. We found out in 2007 that I had PCOS, and although it wouldn’t be impossible to have children, it would be difficult. We did discuss adoption during that year, but neither one of us felt it was the right time for adoption.
A Tough Journey
For the next several years, we went on an emotional journey of infertility that needs its own book to explain all that we learned. During this time, we went to an adoption meeting in 2010, but still did not have peace. In 2014, we attended another adoption meeting and learned about snowflake adoption. I was ready to go this route, but didn’t think to ask God or Joel about what they thought. After several weeks, I decided to ask Joel his opinion. He confirmed what I felt in my heart but didn’t want to hear— we weren’t ready.
I was confused and unsure why God was bringing us on this journey. Why did God continue to give me this desire for children, but close the door of pregnancy and adoption? In June of 2017, I started praying again about adoption. Around the middle of August, I decided to ask Joel his opinion on adoption at this time in our lives. To my surprise— but obviously not God’s—he said he was ready. Little did we know the whirlwind we had just entered.
The Whirlwind
Literally two weeks after our discussion, a close friend contacted me and asked how we felt about adoption of a baby she knew about. Crazy, right? She told us of a pregnant girl who was looking for a couple to possibly adopt her baby. At the beginning of September, we met her and found out she was due the beginning of December with a little boy. We left the meeting agreeing that we would start the process to adopt her baby.
A week later we got a call saying the due date was moved up to November 22! We had so much to do in so little time. The Lord provided so many things. People donated clothes, diapers, furniture, etc. We had scheduled our home visit for our adoption home study; we were ready. On a Wednesday in the middle of October, I was contacted by my friend telling us an emergency c-section would have to be done. I hopped on the internet looking at plane tickets and planning a quick trip just in case.
Then, on Friday evening, my world seemed to stop. The birth mom called me and said the words I dreaded, “I’m deciding to keep my baby.” I’m not sure how long I waited, and I don’t even remember what I said after that. All I remember is hanging up and falling into Joel’s arms, sobbing. Why, after bringing us through all of this and providing so much, would God just rip it away from us? My pastor’s wife, my sister, and a few close friends all said they didn’t believe this story was over. I was just trying to make it through each day without breaking down, but I continued to pray for them both. I prayed for them to be safe. It didn’t even cross my mind that she might change her mind, so, I didn’t pray for her to change her mind.
But, at the end of January, it happened. My phone rang, and it was the birth mom. My heart started beating so fast. She wanted to know if we still wanted to adopt her son? After a few moments of shocked silence, I formed the words, YES, OF COURSE!
God’s Grace
We brought home little man on February 9, 2018, just six months after we decided to adopt. Our story is not the typical adoption story, but it is the best story showing my Savior’s love for little man, his birth mom, and me. It’s a great connection we enjoy. We currently have a power of attorney while we continue the adoption process. (I do not recommend moving states in the middle of the process.) We still communicate with his birth mom and family and plan on communicating from now on. We are forever connected through God’s love, and I can’t wait to share our story with little man.
Would I ever choose this journey for me? Probably not, but God has shown Himself to me in a way I never thought possible through adoption.
Carrie and her husband Joel have been great friends of mine for years after meeting on a coed volleyball team in Florida. Their road has been a long, hard one, but it is amazing to see how God was in the details all along.
Racheal