written by Terra Phelps
“A child born to another woman calls me mommy. The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege are not lost on me.” -Jody Landers
Putting into words what adoption means to me is tough, especially with the completion of our family being so fresh (just under two weeks). I had stumbled upon the above quote early in our adoption process, and I remember thinking it was such a beautiful quote to summarize such an experience. Now that my husband and I have been through the process, the quote moves me to tears. There is not a more fitting quote to describe what took place when our two girls joined our family.
Adoption was something my husband and I had talked about for a long time. As the saying goes, “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage.” For us, the last portion never came. We experienced infertility, and we felt led to adoption sooner than we thought (and boy are we glad). After the initial start of the process, we waited almost 9 months for our match to come. As many other adoptive couples can attest, it was the longest wait of our lives. At times the wait felt harder than the 1-2 minute wait of peeing on a stick to see if you were pregnant. BUT, that wait was happening for a reason. The wait was God saying, “I promise, better things are coming.”
The wait led us to our beautiful and selfless expectant mother. Early in July, we began to talk with the mother and shortly after our first face-to-face meeting, she chose us to parent her yet-to-be-born twins. From there, we were able to build an amazing relationship with this woman that we now call family. We attended ultrasounds, found out genders together, and were able to be at the birth in the operating room as she had a c-section. The instant connection and the absolute Divine Intervention apparent throughout the process reminded us of God’s plan and learning to trust the process. He had greater plans, and they led us to our family.
To us, adoption means family. It does not mean the girls are lucky or that we are lucky, but it means a mother had an abundance of love for her little girls and shared that love with us. Adoption means the same mother chose life, love, and happiness for her little girls. Adoption does not mean we chose the unwanted, but instead, a mother chose a life for her loved twins that she could not provide. For us, adoption is sharing a beautiful relationship with a mother and her girls for a very long time. Adoption is love.
Terra And Brandon recently brought home twin girls. I met Terra when she asked me to create her adoption profile book. Interestingly, they were matched with the mother before I was able to finish their book, but I was glad to meet her and her husband, and get to hear their story
